And then I grew up...

Lately I've been saying that a lot ... and then I grew up.

If you asked me 28 years ago, I would have had the typical twenty something answer to everything "I know."
Yup, I knew it all. I was on the path that I clearly had chosen. In spite of everyone else. I was happy. So I thought.
The next ten years would be a dogged attempt at sustaining what I thought was a happy life. But the powers that be, who sat patiently waiting for me to get it, had to intervene and knock me over the head to wake up.
And so I did.
A new path.
A new journey.
Not without many trying, anxious and downright dirty days.
The cost of waking up I understand.

With ten years of many experiences, I knew it all.
Can't believe I said eh?
Well, I did.
I knew it all.
Not.

The next 15 years though was much different.
So I'm going to just put it out there...
that maybe I did know..some things.
I was happy.
But (you knew the but was coming) I was holding on to many of the 'I know' ideals. These were not minor stumbling blocks. These were colossal walls that I kept running into because I just wasn't 'getting it.'

...and then I grew up.

How liberating.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still have lots and lots...and lots to learn. But (and this is a good but), I have begun shedding all the notions, supposed to be's, what if's, what will people think, I can't, have to please everyone, and I've adopted a state of mind that let's me ... be me.

Like everyone, I am and will always be a work in progress, but it's not laborious. I'm not perfect; and that's okay.

So many subtle messages have helped me to gain this new perspective. And so I continue to listen, read, explore and share.

So when I trip and fall, or walk into a wall, the landing is softer and I bounce back quicker.

I guess that's the price of growing up.

Patience, patience, patie...

How would you define patience?

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Hmmmm...there are two key words that jump out at me.

CAPACITY and ACCEPTANCE.

I'm thinking if you can create an enormous capacity of acceptance all the 'stuff' becomes trivial.  Too easy eh? It's the waiting...that's the challenge. Waiting tries every ounce of energy when you are anxious, tired, suffering or worried. It's the voice that keeps bringing up the doubts, that keeps chipping away at that capacity, that knows just what triggers you to give up or give in.  

IF ONLY we could see what is just ahead. Wouldn't that be ideal.  You know you have a few stumbling blocks, but not to worry, just down the road is what you've been working so hard to achieve. 

BUT NO, we only get to see the step we are taking and even then we aren't sure how we are going to land.

Our perception of time is limited... actually crippling.  We want what we want when we want it.  

It doesn't work that way.

So it all comes back to capacity and acceptance.

It all starts with you.

Live in the moment. 

Hold steadfast to your dreams.

Pay attention...to everything...especially the NON-things.

Be patient.