Monday, December 9, 2013

Stay With It

Ever listen to that voice in your head? I mean really listen to it? It's a never ending one sided conversation that questions, challenges, defends, nags, pretends and convinces. It is relentless. You pay attention; or so you think. Or should I say you're not really thinking. Your mind goes on auto-pilot and plays the same conversations over and over again. Guiding and manipulating. Getting pleasure in taking you where it wants to go.  Its really quite brilliant.  Able to pull points of reference from a storage of memories, skewed by time. It relies on your emotions to support its messages. You go about your day unsuspecting that this voice, these thoughts are steering you...creating your life.

That voice is YOU. Your mind. Your soul.  Your spirit. An untapped, uncontrolled resource that can and WILL create the memorable moments, successes, happiness, health, love...life.  It's not a science. It doesn't require a higher education or some special talent. It's a GOD given gift that is overlooked everyday. Monkey mind is right. It does what it pleases in the confines of your head and it has been shaping your experiences and life.

So stop and listen...very closely. Let it rattle on. Don't give it any inkling that you are on to it. Then without warning take control. Feed it the thoughts YOU want to hear. There will be resistance. Lots of it. But don't worry it will relent. It will listen and before you know it, YOU are shaping every moment.

Stay with it ... and watch as a whole new world opens up to you.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

If only...

Why is there a tendency to spend a lot of time in the 'if only..." zone?
If only I had done this.
If only I had said that.
So what "if"?
It's only speculation after all.
The "if" creates the ideal scenario; the "would have happened ..." We know very well life isn't a Hollywood movie where we can step back and change the circumstance or action to see how things would turn out.
So we hold onto "if only" and it becomes an anchor wrapped tightly around ankles.
The more we feed the "if only" the heavier the anchor and the harder it is to move forward.

Let go of the "if only."
Grab a hold of the here...now.
That's what is real.
That's where the magic happens.
That's where life is.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Stuff

Isn't it funny how we spend our lives accumulating stuff? Closets and drawers bulging. Garages filled so much so that cars no longer have a place in them. Rooms filled with furniture and decor. Space savers bought in the hope of saving space...but just taking up space.  We upgrade the size of homes to create more space, shift the stuff and continue stockpiling.  Then it happens.  Life serves the next chapter. Empty nesting and other life changes. The kids have taken what they need and want (within reason) and your faced with a house full of stuff that has no place in a smaller space.  You think it's impossible.  The task seems momentous. Then little by little, items find new homes and before you know it, you have achieved the possible.  As you look around you feel a sense of relief and you wonder...what was it all for?  Everyone has their own explanation. There is no right or wrong answer.

For me, the whole process has been liberating and enlightening.  Things that seemed to have so much importance, really don't.  Things I saved because I absolutely could not part with have little meaning because I can't even remember why I saved it. I rediscover things that I was 'going to use' but no longer have a need. The donating and tossing piles grow at a frightening rate and within a few months, a house full of stuff has been compacted to three rooms filled with neatly piled labeled boxes and select pieces of furniture. The time to move arrives and as all the stuff is shifted into a smaller space I find myself saying, I can get rid of more stuff. Within a few days the new space is filled but not bulging. Everything has a home. And so begins the next chapter with a resolution to keep it simple, cause simple is good and life is good.




Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A day in the life of ...

His feet hit the hard pavement at a moderate pace.  The grunts of impatience though told him it was not fast enough. He could sense the frustration as they sidestepped and moved past him.  All in a hurry.  At the busy intersection he waits his turn to cross. He glances over to his right, people stare straight ahead; many with earphones. He glances to his left; no one dares meet his glance. The light changes and people move swiftly. He lags behind.  He feels each step; the sun's rays dancing on his face; the breeze tickling his nose. Breathing. His pace slows. A few more people brush by. Side way glances of frustration. Down the stairs to the subway. People filing through and lining the corridor waiting for the train. Waiting. He stands among them. A child holding her mom's hand looks up and catches his glimpse. He smiles. She smiles. The sound of the train approaching catches her attention. The train stops and for a moment the people on the inside of the train face the people on the outside. Expressionless. The doors slide open, people rush out and people rush in. Everyone scrambles for a spot. He steps in just in time. The doors slide shut and the train leaves the station. People stare at their smartphones...or close their eyes...or look out  the window to a dark abyss. No words are spoken. No one dares to meet the stare of another...except the little girl. He smiles. She smiles. He makes a funny face. She laughs. She makes a funny face. He laughs. Mom notices and pulls her child closer. The exchange of smiles ends. The stench of loneliness fills the train. How can that be? So many people. So disconnected. The final stop and he exits the train. As he moves down the corridor he sees a homeless man sitting in the corner with a tattered coffee cup in front of him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some change. He drops the coins in the cup...then sits down. The homeless man looks at him suspiciously. He smiles. The homeless man apprehensively smiles back. They sit together for a while. A few words are spoken. They get up and walk outside, sharing stories. After a while, he bids the homeless man farewell. He smiles. The homeless man smiles. The sidewalk is less crowded. He walks at a leisurely pace. The street is jammed with cars. Horns blaring. Cars rushing in and out of lanes. Everyone is in a hurry. The only human exchange is that of inconvenience. He arrives at a coffee shop. He smiles at the server. She calls out 'next'. He sits in the middle of the shop...watching. Some are alone. Others are not. Every table is filled but there is no one. He heads out, holding the door open for a woman with a stroller.  The child looks up and smiles. He smiles back. He continues to walk. A city full of life yet so desolate. He arrives in a park and sits on a park bench. Birds sing. Squirrels race by. A stray dog approaches and sits near him. He gently pats the dogs head. The dog looks up and smiles. He smiles back. Dusk sets in. He rises and begins to walk; the dog follows. His steps take him home and to the end of another day. A day in the life of...

Friday, May 24, 2013

When devastation hits ...

I remember way back in my school days, a little exercise my teacher did with the class.  She asked a simple question ... What things would you take if your home was being destroyed by fire or act of nature? There was a catch; you only get to take what you can carry out one time. I immediately scanned my room in my mind.  Things? Hmmm...I panicked because there were so many 'things' on my dresser, in my drawers, in my closet, what about the rest of the house? How could I possibly choose? We had twenty minutes to write down our thoughts. A lot more time then if we were really in the midst of a storm or earthquake or flood. I closed my eyes tight expecting the list to just appear in my mind's eye. Nada. I opened my eyes and stared at  the blank foolscap paper waiting for me to fill in the lines. Such a long piece of paper; the teacher must be expecting a lengthy list. The more I thought the less I had to write down. I didn't get it? I had so many things. Every item was important, so it seemed. My pencil hovered over the paper. I should really put my name in the top corner; and oh yes, the date. Then the sound of the teacher's voice rang through the classroom.  "Pencils down." Was that really twenty minutes? She began to walk up and down the aisles collecting our papers. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I could swear the class could hear it.  As she came to my desk I handed her the blank sheet. She looked at it and back at me.  It was the longest minute of my life.  I gulped. Was I about to get my first F? Or worse yet my first detention? As her lips parted, I braced myself for a scolding, but instead I got a great big smile. The look of confusion on my face was met with a whisper "Well done."

It was then the light bulb went on.

Things are just that; things.

When devastation hits, those things that seemingly have importance and are things we can't possibly live without suddenly become nothing but unwanted weight...a burden.

Lesson learned.

Friday, May 17, 2013

When sleep eludes me

It happens.
One time too many.
Fall asleep with ease.
Wake up ready for a new day; not quite, it's only 2 a.m.
What to do, what to do?
Fluff the pillow.
Turn on to another side.
Close my eyes.
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Miss...what was that?
Stretch out and lay on my back.
Close my eyes.
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mi...
Eyes open.
Look around the room.
Yup, the same as it was when I went to sleep.
Okay FOCUS.
Flip on to my stomach.
Bad move.
Flipping on my stomach is me telling myself that sleep will not come.
Return to my back position.
Well, it's too early to do anything without waking up the household, so why not think about some of things that need my undivided attention that I haven't had the time...wait a minute...need to pee.
Don't open the lights cause, well, they say the light disrupts melatonin production which helps me sleep, even though I'm awake, but not really awake.
Shuffle back to bed; Fluff pillow; slip in, cover up, snuggle in...
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississi ... eyelids open. Sigh...
Okay, back to that list of things...so...the room feels kind of weird.
Concentrate.
Seriously, what was that noise?
Concentrate.
Maybe if I lie on my side, the thoughts will flow...
There...
Wonder what's on TV?
Concentrate.
Wow, at a time where I have my undivided attention, I can't keep it.
Monkey mind.  LOL!
That's not funny.
Well actually it is.
Wonder what time it is?
2:15 a.m.
This is going to be a long night.....

Friday, May 3, 2013

The Dirty Little Secrets of Social Media

I've been tweeting, posting, sharing, RT'ing, favouriting, following, friending, liking, blogging, google+ing, klouting, kredding, stumbling, digging, youtubing, pinteresting and redditing for a few years now and have only scraped the surface of all the social media's I could be plugged into.

What a ride it's been!

When I launched into the world of social media, I had visions of grandeur... Little did I know what was in store.

The follows and unfollows.
The tweets that lingered with no responses or retweets or favorites.
The posts that received no likes, comments or shares.
The 'friends' who 'unliked' or hid my page from the timelines
The announcements that weren't acknowledged.
The videos that weren't viewed.
The uphill battle to keep the Klout and Kred scores climbing.
The pins that remained pinless.
The emails that were never answered.

Then the dirty little secrets came clean and I grew a thicker skin.

In this MASSIVE sea called the internet, I discovered that we are really just a pebble along the shore, being washed in and then spit out; over and over again.

The 1% (this is an estimate) get trapped in a clam shell and eventually become pearls...then harvested and admired.
Okay, enough of the similes.

In spite of the odds, we sign up, create accounts, spend countless hours to get the likes, shares, faves, mentions, retweets, pins or comments. Maybe to spread the news about a cause; or a business; or an event. Opportunity won't find itself right?

And so we seek followers and friends to be noticed; to be heard. But who is really listening? World Internet Users Stats say that as of June 2012 there were 2,405,518,376 users (give or take a few).  That's a lot of people chattering. People wanting to be acknowledged.

Out of these numbers how many are using some form of social media?  The answer is here Digital Marketing Ramblings ... Overwhelming eh?

Social media in a weird way has become the dreaded popularity contest. How many likes do you have? How many followers? How many people are really paying attention to what you have to say? Well, there are certainly enough measuring tools and analytic's to tell you just that. Oops, there goes another facebook like and one less follower. But don't worry did you hear that you can BUY followers and likes? Cause it's all about the numbers; fake or real, right?  I prefer to go the road less travelled...earn the followers and likes, then work really hard to maintain them by providing interesting content, engaging them, giving back...hmmm, what a novel idea.

I could probably go on and on, but who is really listening? (Google analytics will give me the hard numbers) The whole phenomena of social media has been talked, texted, blogged, posted, tweeted (you know where I am going with this) to death. I figured one more opinion couldn't hurt.

What I take away is this; The hub of social media are humans.  This diverse group are all compelled by different wants, needs, likes and dislikes.  The scales will never be balanced because humans are ever changing, ever demanding and ever ready (pun intended) to click that button. A lot like the stock market or a 'box of chocolates' you never know what the day will bring. So with that said, I'm just going to take a moment to focus on the great part of social media. In that massive sea (internet) I have been washed in and spit out with many pebbles along the shore. These pebbles, I mean people, know the dirty little secrets, and like me, are willing to wade through a little mud to find the gems. For that, I am grateful to social media because without this ability to connect globally , I wouldn't have made such fabulous friends. :D  ... and 'that's all I'm going to say about that" (Forrest Gump)



Monday, April 29, 2013

And then I grew up...

Lately I've been saying that a lot ... and then I grew up.

If you asked me 28 years ago, I would have had the typical twenty something answer to everything "I know."
Yup, I knew it all. I was on the path that I clearly had chosen. In spite of everyone else. I was happy. So I thought.
The next ten years would be a dogged attempt at sustaining what I thought was a happy life. But the powers that be, who sat patiently waiting for me to get it, had to intervene and knock me over the head to wake up.
And so I did.
A new path.
A new journey.
Not without many trying, anxious and downright dirty days.
The cost of waking up I understand.

With ten years of many experiences, I knew it all.
Can't believe I said eh?
Well, I did.
I knew it all.
Not.

The next 15 years though was much different.
So I'm going to just put it out there...
that maybe I did know..some things.
I was happy.
But (you knew the but was coming) I was holding on to many of the 'I know' ideals. These were not minor stumbling blocks. These were colossal walls that I kept running into because I just wasn't 'getting it.'

...and then I grew up.

How liberating.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still have lots and lots...and lots to learn. But (and this is a good but), I have begun shedding all the notions, supposed to be's, what if's, what will people think, I can't, have to please everyone, and I've adopted a state of mind that let's me ... be me.

Like everyone, I am and will always be a work in progress, but it's not laborious. I'm not perfect; and that's okay.

So many subtle messages have helped me to gain this new perspective. And so I continue to listen, read, explore and share.

So when I trip and fall, or walk into a wall, the landing is softer and I bounce back quicker.

I guess that's the price of growing up.



Monday, April 8, 2013

Patience, patience, patie...


How would you define patience?

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Hmmmm...there are two key words that jump out at me.

CAPACITY and ACCEPTANCE.

I'm thinking if you can create an enormous capacity of acceptance all the 'stuff' becomes trivial.  Too easy eh? It's the waiting...that's the challenge. Waiting tries every ounce of energy when you are anxious, tired, suffering or worried. It's the voice that keeps bringing up the doubts, that keeps chipping away at that capacity, that knows just what triggers you to give up or give in.  


IF ONLY we could see what is just ahead. Wouldn't that be ideal.  You know you have a few stumbling blocks, but not to worry, just down the road is what you've been working so hard to achieve. 

BUT NO, we only get to see the step we are taking and even then we aren't sure how we are going to land.

Our perception of time is limited... actually crippling.  We want what we want when we want it.  

It doesn't work that way.

So it all comes back to capacity and acceptance.

It all starts with you.

Live in the moment. 

Hold steadfast to your dreams.

Pay attention...to everything...especially the NON-things.

Be patient.





Friday, March 22, 2013

Enter with an open mind...

It's not a secret...it's been there for thousands of years.  We're just not listening...close enough.

"Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you."

Skepticism rears its ugly head and so what is the universe to do?

It delivers.

Everything you DON'T want.

You don't have to be of a particular denomination to be compassionate, loving, peaceful...human.

Be kind.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Be generous

"What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?"

Don't judge.

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

Love

"Love others as you love yourself."

Be Humble.

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and who whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

Shine

"No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place that is well hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on his stand so that those who come in may see the light."

Forgive

"Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

BE Peace

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you."


Look around.  This world is a phenomenal creation.  We are phenomenal creations.  With just a simple change of perspective we CAN live peacefully and harmoniously.  Shed the past, the hurt, the regret and embrace the moment; then the universe will deliver ... EVERYTHING for EVERYONE.






Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Blog, blog, blog, blah, blah

I took a bit of a hiatus ...

Contemplate ... not my navel ... but this whole blogging world I've taken the liberty of becoming a participant . Willingly.  No arms were twisted in the making of this blog, or any blog for that matter.

Like all other bloggers, I've got things to say.

I want to share, engage, laugh, walk away feeling like ... I've written something that has got someone, somewhere; thinking.

Amongst the sea of blogs, I stand, well actually sit.

So many to read. Which to follow...or not.  Technology has certainly afforded us the perfect forum to talk, talk, talk. But it's all kind of become like white noise.  hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Except, those rare gems that just feel like an old friend sharing a thought over a cup of coffee.

Those blogs, yes, those are the ones that get me thinking.

Wondering if I have been able to achieve that.... hummmmmmmmmmmmmm