And then I grew up...

Lately I've been saying that a lot ... and then I grew up.

If you asked me 28 years ago, I would have had the typical twenty something answer to everything "I know."
Yup, I knew it all. I was on the path that I clearly had chosen. In spite of everyone else. I was happy. So I thought.
The next ten years would be a dogged attempt at sustaining what I thought was a happy life. But the powers that be, who sat patiently waiting for me to get it, had to intervene and knock me over the head to wake up.
And so I did.
A new path.
A new journey.
Not without many trying, anxious and downright dirty days.
The cost of waking up I understand.

With ten years of many experiences, I knew it all.
Can't believe I said eh?
Well, I did.
I knew it all.
Not.

The next 15 years though was much different.
So I'm going to just put it out there...
that maybe I did know..some things.
I was happy.
But (you knew the but was coming) I was holding on to many of the 'I know' ideals. These were not minor stumbling blocks. These were colossal walls that I kept running into because I just wasn't 'getting it.'

...and then I grew up.

How liberating.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still have lots and lots...and lots to learn. But (and this is a good but), I have begun shedding all the notions, supposed to be's, what if's, what will people think, I can't, have to please everyone, and I've adopted a state of mind that let's me ... be me.

Like everyone, I am and will always be a work in progress, but it's not laborious. I'm not perfect; and that's okay.

So many subtle messages have helped me to gain this new perspective. And so I continue to listen, read, explore and share.

So when I trip and fall, or walk into a wall, the landing is softer and I bounce back quicker.

I guess that's the price of growing up.